The Morning Report

Actually its evening, but oh well. I still have a bunch of random stuff to say.
You know what's creepy? Hearing your friends argue about whether or not your brother is hot. Especially when one is a guy. That's just my major weird experience of the day.
If the constitutional amendment banning gay marraiges manages to pass, I'm going to stage a coup and overthrow the government.
We need more LN people on this blog. I move to invite Tyler Rudd or Paul Simmons. Somehow this has turned into an LC blog with a couple of LN guys and that's not what it was supposed to be at all. It makes me feel left out sometimes. I also think you guys are being a little hypocritical in discussing LC teachers who Jonah and I have never met.
No on Syndication. One: why do we want readers? Two: Who would want to read any of this? I think syndication is vain and pointless.
I'm really sick of my title scheme, so as soon as I think of a good one I'm going to change it. Just a bit of warning.
Ok, none of that had anything to do with the rest of it, but thats ok. Please don't get offended and try to start a flame war.
Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

Like Whoa!

I hate Mr. Phillipy I hope both he and Mr. Hall get married to eachother and die on their honemoon. Or it would have to be a civil union thanks to stupid President over there in Washington...I don't even know if THOSE are legal here. Stupid conservatives.

Anyways. Mr. Phillipys such an asshole. I agree with everything you said about him because that's EXACTLY what I was thinking...he thinks he can read Cyrano's part when there are so many people in our class who could do SO MUCH BETTER! He's an awful speaker and he's so random. I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM! I've just had awful luck this year with gay English teachers, have I not?

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE MADE FUN OF ME FOR SAYING "OUR" FUNNY!!! He can't even TALK about accents, stupid Pe-ru man. Grrrrrrr. And the whole "Bless you" thing? Grrrrrrrrrr. You enjoyed my pissed off acting? I would've thought it was quite funny as well if it hadn't been me he was making fun of. Asshole. Nobody makes fun of me and is still my friend. Unless if they're joking...I'm good with jokes. But he's not joking. He's dead serious about making fun of the way I say "our". Eat me, Mr. Phillipy.

(Now I understand why it definitely isn't a good idea to syndicate this...sorry about the profanity guys...and about the awful comments...just sorry for making you read all of that!)

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

She could have been competely wrong for me. Don't care. I would have married her right there.-Michael

Ha! Sophia, you made my day. Phillipe isn't much better, is he?
What a yutz. The guy is a horrible speaker. We're reading Cyrano, and our teacher thinks he can read the lead. The guy has no prose skillz. can't act. Plus, or minus, as the case may be, hes a bloody hypocrite, he's rude, and has to have the stage constantly. He'll cut people off on questions and go on scripted tangents. I think he decides exactly what he's going to say before hand and if you don't follow his script hes just going to block you out.

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

Zip Zap Zoop

This is the last post to utilize the stupid and tedious alphabetical title scheme. My next post wil began a totally new scheme. But I've finally figured out what my regular section will be: Match up of the week. This week:

Who would win in a jousting match between Helen Keller and Larry the Cucumber if Larry was riding a giant corn chip with legs and Hellen Keller was riding a potato chip of equal size with wheels? (They are both using chocolate lances, but Helen Keller's is dark chocolate and Larry's is milk chocolate)

Most of the matches will pretty much be like that. Also, "of the week" does not mean there will be one each week. There will still be one per entry, regardless of how they spread across weeks. Erin, please read the comments on the posts for information about your books. Do you think I could borrow Monstrous Regiment if I promise to read it quickly? (Easy enough. TH White is good, but his books take signifigantly longer to read than Terry Pratchett, whose books I have more than once read in a single night) Also, I am surprised that Celebration is coming here again. Pleasantly surprised though. And this time, we'll get organized enough to enter the costume contest for real.
I'd like to conclude with the word Eggplant. But I won't, because this sentence is here.

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

Women are like cod. Not because they're better dried and salted, they really aren't. Women, not cod. Anyway, women are like cod.

There's more to that quote, but it sounds funny right there as it is. Everyone should read Jonah's story if they havent been reading it already, it's awsome.

Erin, I'm surprised. I was expecting, now that I am queen I want title scheme of my own, or something closer to that quote. precious is too predictable for the times.

I'm betting Nate's the feminist and Heather's the communist. Oh, and Nate's hairstyle is now officially known as a lutefisk. It's a Norwegian dish of cod soaked in lye.

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

I could've danced all night (Actually, they forced me to dance all day, and for six hours the previous two days, so I most likely couldn't have danced

all night, but oh well.) In other words, show choir hell has officially started with 21 hours of Choreography in three days. On the plus side, this show rules! It is very awesome and I urge you to come see it. Especially if you want to see me being ghetto, and all of our girls doing Kung Fu. (Actually it's more like kick boxing, but some of these girls trying to pull off 'tough' are downright hilarious. Especially Amy and Laura.)
So yeah, if you think you've had an exhausting week, I advise you to think again. Equally frustrating is that there is absolutely nothing cool for small, lightweight guys to do in a show choir show, and they won't let the girls lift me.
In other news, Heather Haywood and I are writing a scene together in Theatre arts about a feminist, an environmentalist, and a communist. I think you can guess who I'm playing.

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent.

Sooo....
Thanks for the title scheme, Marten. It's all mine now, my own... my preciouss.
The Golden Globes are on tonight, which means we get the chance to watch drunken celebrities receive awards.
I had something relevant to say, but I forget what it was.
Oh, yes, give me my books back.
And Celebration III is coming to Indy in '05, baby! Woohoo!

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

The Mrr Hrrs.

Yeah, Mrr Hrr is the noise I make when I'm making fun of you...if you ever wondered. Anyway, I'm not dead, as I've been recently walking around school as is often the case on weekdays. I've just been rather busy and/or rather lazy. Your choice. I'm really tired right now, cuz I just got home from a party (lots of drugs and sex, guys, I had a great time. :D) and I only got 2 hours of sleep between the speech meet from hell and the party. Btw, I got 8th for Humorous Interpretation (yay) and 2nd to last in all of my OI rounds. Hmm. So I'm actually alive and well. Thanks.

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

WE ARE OUT OF SWEET ROLLS

I am giving Erin full rights to my title scheme and taking a new one: Quotes from webcomics and other blogs. Obviously not this blog, that would be cheesy.

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

SEY

I Know I just had to turn the page, but it looked better backwords. Note the clever spelling pun. It's from Reaper Man, which of just finished. It is very confusing. I noticed interesting metaphors for other stories, but it was still very odd. I liked it anyway. Work sessions make me tired. Of course, Im one of 2 or 3 that actually works the entire time, so hey, what did I expect?

I HATE MY ART PROJECT! GROUP PROJECTS+ART=DOOM HOUSE!
Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

Ye "Yahtzee!" yelling yetis of Yesteryear

My new semester schedule contains one highly awesome element: As many lunches as I want! Ok, well technically just whichever lunch I want but I can get away with more than one easily. It just so happens that my North Star period (which is during a beginning journalism class, so I'm the only one in it) is during a lunch period. Since I'm one person and the administration won't notice, Hayes said I can go to any lunch I want. First day I went to two and he didn't notice. If he asks, I was doing interviews.
But other than that, the new schedule kinda sucks. Two new teachers, one boring but nice and one who I thought was mean but she's just old. I guess overall it's a wash.

In other news, The Pajama Game is a sexist musical. It has three or four girls chorus songs, no guys songs and only about three that guys even sing on. Being male chorus is quite pointless, particularly knowing I will be cut from all the dance numbers. I'd better get lines, or else this musical will be a huge waste of my time.

There is one post left before the alphabet fails me, so please tell me what to do. Marten, you should bold the end thingy in the template so it doesn't blend with everything else.

Stop Kemps, We're Playing Euchre!

We have someone called Mrs. Cake

Wow, what a weekend. I planned a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff happened. I didn't plan all the stuff that happened. It was fun anyway. Hurray for Yo Yo Ma! Incase we have any uncultured whelps reading this blog, he plays the cello. He plays it well. Hurray for Momas who got tickets to see Yo Yo Ma! If there's anyone here who doesnt know who Momas is, she is the mother of Thomas. Mom + Thomas = Momas.

Then I came home. Then I went away again. Off to Christin Neary's birthday party. Good food. Lots of people. and notice the sentence fragmens? Good device. Will be used more later. Anywhy, parts of it were fun, other bits tasted good. However, there was quite a bit of negative-marten energy there, so I was, for the most part, canceled out. Sounds silly, but what can I do?

After that, Big Fish. It was fun. See What Kind of day has it been.

michaelwhat did I say about using the word props?

This blog depicted here shall possess unseen marks, signs that she will be the one to bring forth my works. Bind them with fury, a burning anger unless prevented at vulgar cost, this blog will render the greatest power unto utter desolation.

The Elves are in Bermuda

Okay, so it's not an actual quote, but I succesfully combined Lord of the Rings with Once in a Life Time. I get props. who coined that? Props to so and so. its actually kind of stupid and I never wat to hear it said again. Unless the speaker is refering to actual props for a play or something.
Ok, Michael, Im going to read the Alias recaps for the episodes I mised on TWoP. Also, I'm going to ignore the squabble because I wasn't here. Also because I have divine right as administrator. And because I think squabble is a dumb word. reminds me of bad seafood. and notice the sentence fragments? good device. will be used more later

I know from sparrows to starlings. After that, everything's a duck, as far as I'm concerned.

King of New York

I'm in the Newspaper! Page N-1, Star North section, "Students are all talk at contest". Just wanted to point that out.
I'm under serious finals/beginning of show choir season/end of speech season strees right now. In a week like this, anything can make my day.
Micheal- TwoP is really good. I wish they reviewed SG-1, though.

I'm not gonna storm out of here, Catch. And I'm not going to admit that you got Barbara Novak to fall in love. Because I'm not Barbara Novak.

I, too, am ignoring that squabble because it's over and moving on to say:
That was definitely the best Joan of Arcadia ever! Hooray for Joan... or Jane, if you so prefer... and Adam! Good ripples all around. And definitely no weird scary koala bears in hats.
Also, everyone, go see Big Fish. It is officially out now, and I saw a preview of it and it is such an awesome movie. It made me cry and laugh and everything. It's a brilliant film.
Jonah, I want The Once and Future King back. Also The Da Vinci Code from Levi. You guys have had those for like six months.
I've decided that I'm fixing the fanfiction recommendation of the week on Saturday, so here it is. You might not care, but I do. Another Lifetime by Kazzy, again for SW, again on fanfiction.net. I do read other fandoms and other sites, but these have just updated more. It's an AU where Padme doesn't die and is raising the twins, hopping from one planet to another and staying one step ahead of the Empire. Some very cute stories.
I shall now push "post and publish."

I know from sparrows to starlings. After that, everything's a duck, as far as I'm concerned.

Superfluous continuum

Dell's phrase is supposed to be a pun-thing..."Easy as Dell" instead of "Easy as Hell." Savvy? (haha, so much fun to say that. And I'm ignoring the squabble because it's over)

I know from sparrows to starlings. After that, everything's a duck, as far as I'm concerned.

No More

I didn't read that post after the first sentence. Nor will I. I'm not going to retaliate. I'm letting this go. And even though you'll no doubt consider this a bunch of self riteous bs, I forgive you for that first comment. It's not the kind of language I would use lightly.

The Madness of the King

Micheal, I typed a rather long rant in reply to you, but then I deleted it. I'm mad rght now. I was already mad when I read you're post. I snapped on five people today including both of my choir teachers. So I figured it would only start a flame war. So now I'm going to apologize for not explaining myself on the D&D topic, concede that I should have, and agree not to discuss it here.
I will not make the same concession for webcomics unless you do for TwoP, The West Wing, and basically every T.V. show you talk about that I don't watch. You are holding a ridiculous double standard.
Now I'm going to go take out my random, inexplicable anger on virtual characters in Super Smash Brothers.

The Golden Helmet of Mambrino

DMing is awesome! But Marten, I've decided I can't do this with just two people. I'm keeping the pirate theme, and I've expanded on it quite a bit. I need a couple more weeks to get everything in order. Meanwhile I've invited Paul and Tyler, and the invitation is still open to anyone else. Especially Thomas. Thomas, you in?
Oh, By the way Thomas, you haven't posted because because time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so, and time has been moving very quickly for you, so what seemed like days to us was only about half an hour to you, which you spent eating lunch.
That's my guess, anyway. As for the Web comic talk, get in the game! I have 11 that I check regularly.

I know from sparrows to starlings. After that, everything's a duck, as far as I'm concerned.

Contesting to Enter

hmm...whatever that means. I think you (Thomas) were out getting pregnant...that's why you weren't here. You should've used protection. Anyways, I'm happy with the websites I do go to and that's why I shan't be reading your other blogs or whatever it is ya'll are asking me to read. So yeah. Au Revoir.


I know from sparrows to starlings. After that, everything's a duck, as far as I'm concerned.

COOOOOFFFEEEEE!! WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE COFFEE????

...I'm really tired. I forgot what I was going to post about. I'l probably ramble until it's more ridiculous than a Triangle and Robert Strip. Speaking of the comic, I say all you non-readers read a bit so we can play the Triangle and Robert Improvisational Puppet show! (or TRIPS) It's like a role playing game, but made to be silly, instead of silliness being made a mere possibility.

Michael, what is IKEA?

Erin, from now on, always press the Post & Publish button. It's got connected computers on it.

I know from sparrows to starlings. After that, everything's a duck, as far as I'm concerned.

Xylophones, er Xenophiles, um I CAN"T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! NOTHING STARTS WITH X!!!!!

Imagine holding five pounds of dead weight at level with your head, expending your air blowing into it while at the same time having to move forward, perfectly in step with those around you on uneven ground in unbearable heat. You are allowed to lower it from head to chest level for about four beats every three minutes. Imagine this lasts three agonizing miles, while the people you walk by are sitting, laughing, and eating food.
Keep that in mind the next time you watch a parade. It's like gladiators - deriving pleasure from the pain of others. Other than that, Arizona was great. 2nd place by a tenth of a point in the field show, 3rd in that cursed parade. Saw the grand canyon, met some cowboys. Met three to six wonderful girls from Maine and got e-mail addresses and even a phone number. Marten suggested I refer to them as Xenophiles in my title because the were strangers who like me. Xylophones is because we have them in our pit. I must say, the grand canyon is absolutely amazing. If you've never been there I highly recommend it.

Webcomic recommendation of the whenever is my official new section. I'm going to kick it off with the ever popular Sluggy Freelance. It's got Vampires, Aliens, Ferrets, and the like, but what makes it is the characterization and the quirky humor. The page is www.sluggy.com. The only drawback is the 7 years of archives, but if you find yourself with the internet and lots of free time, that is how I suggest spending it.

Thomas- I think you were eaten by a carnivorous moose from another planet. You would be dead, except that just as you were being swallowed a space-time vortex opened and you fell into another dimension, specifically one populated by super intelligent tuataras, who made you their slave. You were rescued by MacGuyver, who was thrown in by a similar vortex, and he created a dimensional flux agitator out of a pair of dirty socks, a toothpick, and some frozen orange juice. However, the agitator wasn't perfect, so you ended up in the right dimension but the wrong planet. MacGuyver made a spaceship out of some rocks, the agitator parts, and a captured turkey-like creature, but there was only room for one, so he left you behind promising to send help. You waited for ten years and then gave up on that, deciding to find your own way home. However, at the discovery of a mostly buried statue of liberty you realized that you were on earth, just in the future. So you spent the next fifty years looking through the ruins of earth technology for a time machine. The best you could find was a youth machine, which is why you still look 16. You didn't find the time machine, but MacGuyver found you. He had realized his mistake almost instantly, but because of relativity it took 60 years of your time for him to come back. He was able to build a time machine with all the ruins you found, so you got back, only you were in New York. Because you had no money you had to work as a taxi driver to raise the money, but while you were driving the taxi you got pulled into a web of mystery and intrigue revolving around a series of murders and a woman named Moreen LaRue. Eventually you solved the mystery and got the girl, but she was run over by a speeding bus, so you returned here because you wanted to forget that other life and it's woes.
(I think I deserve a cookie for that.)


I know from sparrows to starlings. After that, everything's a duck, as far as I'm concerned.

But no living man am I! You look upon a woman.

Marten says he couldn't see my last entry, so I'm posting it again.

Marten, I see you have started Monstrous Regiment. Isn't it special? It has some sort of dark parts later on, but I liked it.

Return of the King was so awesome! I finally saw it yesterday. Eowyn kicked the Witch King's ass! Ha ha! I especially enjoyed the adaptation for film of the above line. I forget exactly how it went, but I remembered that part from the book, so while I was watching, I was like, "Say it... say it..." And Frodo and Sam had some very nice love scenes. And there were oliphaunts!

Thomas, were you gone because you had to return a Ring, or possibly because you joined the army, or possibly because you fell into a parallel dimension?



I know from sparrows to starlings. After that, everything's a duck, as far as I'm concerned.