I actually had a pretty fun day yesterday, even in spite of the fact that there was no episode of The Office on. It was my roommate's birthday. She had previously taken great pains to tell us at length about how she hates her birthday because A) her parents are assholes and do not celebrate it properly and B) people forget. She proceeded to make sure that people would know it was her birthday by removing her birthday from Facebook and telling nobody about it. Because apparently if you didn't know already, you are not worthy of knowing her birthday. Or something. I don't know.
But those who were worthy of knowing her birthday decided that we would not give her reason to be justified in bitching about it anymore. Other Roommate and I went to Wal-Mart with Bethany days early to get her presents she would like. One of our sorority sisters decided to give her a surprise party.
Her parents came on her birthday eve and took all three of us (Roommate, Other Roommate, and myself) out to dinner and dairy queen. (All in all, it was a good second half of the day for me. I took a nap, the one thing I was looking forward to all day, went to dinner, got Dairy Queen, called my mom.) At the dinner, Roommate decided to tell her parents that she is seeing a guy who A) she wants to marry-- and her ex-fiancee just broke up with her in the fall, mind-- and B) said guy is in prison. While we were just sitting there, shaking our heads, staring at our plates, industriously eating our food, and trying to be very small. They took it pretty well. Better than they took the idea of her getting a hedgehog next year. At midnight Megan, the girl who would throw the surprise party, came into the room and sang to her and gave us birthday hats, which Roommate had apparently never had before, and she was psyched.
She slept most of her actualy birthday, as she does most days. She liked our presents, and then the surprise party went off well. I liked being a conspirator, it was fun. There was a lot of attempted lip-reading and significant looking and hand gestures behind Roommate's back. Finally, at 10:20, I get the go-ahead, and I'm all, "Uh... [Roommate], will you go down to the kitchen with me to get juice so I don't have to go by myself?" And there was much shouting of "surprise!" and Happy Feet penguin masks and cake and a bunny cup.
After that, Roommate, Bethany, Whitney and I watched Sister Act, which I had never seen all of before. And I finally found an alcoholic beverage I like, and which I almost drank a whole serving of. With a crazy twisty straw. Smirnoff Wild Grape. It tastes like sparkling grape juice and not like alcohol!
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
23 March 2007
It's easy to regret your awkward conversations but hard to regret the ones you didn't have.
Spring break, split into two parts and annotated for your convenience!*
Part I
1) Work at Arby's all week. Everyone I actually know aside from the managers have quit, so it's just awkward time with the Mexicans. I'd have nothing against them if I spoke Spanish. I discover that the general manager is a figure skater and was an alternate for the Olympic team in the 70's. This fuels conversation for about fifteen minutes.
2) 300. See it. It's awesome. It's like the film style of Sin City applied to Gladiator, the movie is amazing.
3) Lina and I visit Michael, watch TV, borrow Big Love and Carnivale, respectively.
4) Watch entire first season of Carnivale in the course of a few days. It's an amazing series, and Michael needs to by the second season.
5) Built weapons, broke weapons, rebuilt weapons.
6) Party on Saturday with K.C., Huevos, and some other people you guys don't know. Miniscule amounts of alcohol were consumed by yours truly to appease the holiday, and large amounts were consumed by Baethor and Huevos. Comedy ensues over the backdrop of constant guitar hero awesomeness.
Part II
1) My hair is short. It's the shortest it's been since I shaved it. It feels funny.
2) My webcomic remains updated thrice a week. Read it. It's funny sometimes.
3) I filed my taxes. $250 refund for me!
4) Dad has martini nights on Mondays at the shop. I discover beer that actually tastes good and some other interesting liquors. Dad's reenactor friend spills things a lot, and I remain sober after unknown amount of alcohol consumption.
5) Dagorhir! My ass must be bigger, because at least half the hits I took were right to the tuchus. Awesome fighting, met some new people and missed some old people. Good times were had by all. Very sore the next day
6) Tried to build more weapons with comstocks, but weather was annoying. Played worms, extreme scrabble. Saralyn called, so we all took a short break to call our respective/prospective girl friends. Strangest game of extreme scrabble ever. Lots of nudity (in the story). Next day was very lazy. Went to blockbuster, where Jonah got distracted by bubblegum and left the movies behind. We didn't realize this until we got home with not movies. Went back and got them, while at the same time much silly argumentation occured over whose fault it was (Jonah's). THX 1138 is weird, and Life of Brian is funny.
7) Lunch (chinese) with Guthrie. Hartman and Nick Brock like capitalism and don't like the middle class. Jennifer wouldn't let go of my leg. Freshman are funny, and Michael's show about Guthrie really needs to be on television.
Yay Spring Break! I go back to Woo on Sunday. Saturday's events will not be recorded, because it is almost certain that nothing will happen on Saturday.
*numbered events do not necessarily occur in chronological order
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
Part I
1) Work at Arby's all week. Everyone I actually know aside from the managers have quit, so it's just awkward time with the Mexicans. I'd have nothing against them if I spoke Spanish. I discover that the general manager is a figure skater and was an alternate for the Olympic team in the 70's. This fuels conversation for about fifteen minutes.
2) 300. See it. It's awesome. It's like the film style of Sin City applied to Gladiator, the movie is amazing.
3) Lina and I visit Michael, watch TV, borrow Big Love and Carnivale, respectively.
4) Watch entire first season of Carnivale in the course of a few days. It's an amazing series, and Michael needs to by the second season.
5) Built weapons, broke weapons, rebuilt weapons.
6) Party on Saturday with K.C., Huevos, and some other people you guys don't know. Miniscule amounts of alcohol were consumed by yours truly to appease the holiday, and large amounts were consumed by Baethor and Huevos. Comedy ensues over the backdrop of constant guitar hero awesomeness.
Part II
1) My hair is short. It's the shortest it's been since I shaved it. It feels funny.
2) My webcomic remains updated thrice a week. Read it. It's funny sometimes.
3) I filed my taxes. $250 refund for me!
4) Dad has martini nights on Mondays at the shop. I discover beer that actually tastes good and some other interesting liquors. Dad's reenactor friend spills things a lot, and I remain sober after unknown amount of alcohol consumption.
5) Dagorhir! My ass must be bigger, because at least half the hits I took were right to the tuchus. Awesome fighting, met some new people and missed some old people. Good times were had by all. Very sore the next day
6) Tried to build more weapons with comstocks, but weather was annoying. Played worms, extreme scrabble. Saralyn called, so we all took a short break to call our respective/prospective girl friends. Strangest game of extreme scrabble ever. Lots of nudity (in the story). Next day was very lazy. Went to blockbuster, where Jonah got distracted by bubblegum and left the movies behind. We didn't realize this until we got home with not movies. Went back and got them, while at the same time much silly argumentation occured over whose fault it was (Jonah's). THX 1138 is weird, and Life of Brian is funny.
7) Lunch (chinese) with Guthrie. Hartman and Nick Brock like capitalism and don't like the middle class. Jennifer wouldn't let go of my leg. Freshman are funny, and Michael's show about Guthrie really needs to be on television.
Yay Spring Break! I go back to Woo on Sunday. Saturday's events will not be recorded, because it is almost certain that nothing will happen on Saturday.
*numbered events do not necessarily occur in chronological order
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
18 March 2007
Sa-Weet!
So, spring break. I didn't get to see any of you. :( I almost saw Marten and Lina, but there was a conflicting doctor's appointment and that foiled our plans. Did that make any sense? I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that I was still alive and kicking...whatever that's supposed to mean. I love you all and miss you like CrAzY! So much for a long and interesting blog. :D Loves!
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
06 March 2007
You're a Kitty!
Skewed to the Left has been consistently updated for over a month now, go me. It might not always be funny, but it's always there. After scraping through a chinese midterm and sort of wiggling out my acting midterm, I'm just about ready for a spring break. I'm a bit worried about stats, but never long enough for it to catch up with me. Homework generally gets done like this:
Jonah: Marten, when are we going to do stats homework?
Marten: Later. Not now. I don't wanna.
Jonah: Okay, but we really need to start putting more effort into our homework, even though we don't want to.
later
Marten: Okay, we need to do stats now.
Jonah: But I've almost defeated this boss on windwaker! / chip's challenge! / Saralyn! / Newspaper! / Now I don't wanna.
Marten: We have to do it eventually.
These exchanges generally happen three to four times between getting a homework assignment in stats and actually doing it. Generally, it happens late at night at Mom's Truck Stop, when I've gotten to the point where I care so little I do silly things, like explain concepts to people at mom's who don't understand stats, because that's what the problem tells me to do. I actually explained something about double-blind experiments to some moderately attractive girls who happened to be across the room, and I had them sign my homework after I wrote down "I did" after the question that told me to explain the concept. I probably should have gotten their numbers; I don't know if the novelty alone was worth it for the points I lost. Oh well, so it goes.
Meanwhile, Jonah's been coming up with amusing things to do with the room next year, like a dartboard with some one's face on it, which we would change arbitrarily every week, and an etch-a-sketch instead of a white board on the door. Next year is going to be most interesting. Still, gotta finish this one first.
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
Jonah: Marten, when are we going to do stats homework?
Marten: Later. Not now. I don't wanna.
Jonah: Okay, but we really need to start putting more effort into our homework, even though we don't want to.
later
Marten: Okay, we need to do stats now.
Jonah: But I've almost defeated this boss on windwaker! / chip's challenge! / Saralyn! / Newspaper! / Now I don't wanna.
Marten: We have to do it eventually.
These exchanges generally happen three to four times between getting a homework assignment in stats and actually doing it. Generally, it happens late at night at Mom's Truck Stop, when I've gotten to the point where I care so little I do silly things, like explain concepts to people at mom's who don't understand stats, because that's what the problem tells me to do. I actually explained something about double-blind experiments to some moderately attractive girls who happened to be across the room, and I had them sign my homework after I wrote down "I did" after the question that told me to explain the concept. I probably should have gotten their numbers; I don't know if the novelty alone was worth it for the points I lost. Oh well, so it goes.
Meanwhile, Jonah's been coming up with amusing things to do with the room next year, like a dartboard with some one's face on it, which we would change arbitrarily every week, and an etch-a-sketch instead of a white board on the door. Next year is going to be most interesting. Still, gotta finish this one first.
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
05 March 2007
I had realized not long ago that I myself was no beauty ... But here in that young woman I could see how those principles could be inverted.
Dear Self,
Why are you so bent and determined on making your Women in Fiction professor love you? What is it about her that makes you so desperately seek her approval, like you're young Jane Eyre and she's Miss Temple or something?
I mean, I have always had this need to have my teachers like me. There seems to be something logical about that reasoning-- kids my own age don't get me, but this very smart adult person, s/he might... s/he is more likely to. I have the Battleses, who like me probably more than I deserve. Is it because they're not teaching this semester that I decided to latch on to Dr. Eden? She specializes in the nineteenth century. I knew I loved her the moment I saw that she had a picture of Jane Austen on her door and the Brontes in her office. What I really want is to have a one-on-one all-out dorkfest discussion on Jane Eyre or any of Miss Austen's novels. I feel like that would go well. But in class I'm stuck trying to somehow psychicially convey to her that dammit, I am special. I'm not sure she's getting it. I was really not happy with my grade on my first assignment in her class, the discussion I led with my roommate, through no fault of my own, did not go well at all and was kind of embarrassing, and then on my last paper, which I felt I did really well on, I got an "A-/B+" (What does that MEAN? I hate that! Why do teachers do that?). Which is great, and I am grateful. But somehow I feel like at this point nothing will really make me feel like I'm really doing well short of Dr. Eden embracing me and declaring me to be like a third child to her. Okay, not quite that. But close. Boost my self-esteem Dr. Eden! I am your fangirl!
In speaking of Women in Fiction, something happened today that really pissed me off. There's this rather cynical girl, Emily, in my class, who is just way too objective in my opinion. Today she began a comment with, "What I don't like about Jane Eyre..." or "What's wrong with Jane Eyre is..." or maybe even, "The reason I don't like Jane Eyre," I can't remember, and something about how she has no follow-through and constantly undermines herself and sabotages her own happiness and sells herself short of living up to her ambitions, or something. Which is kind of crap anyway. I mean, do you have no concept of having to balance a liberal mentality with a conservative time period, GEEZ! Just because Jane's ambitions are not yours does not mean that she is not a fully self-possessed woman who achieves what she wants because she is determined and has a will to do so! And this girl did the same thing with Elizabeth Bennet ("The thing I don't like about Elizabeth, the reason I just don't like her is that she's vain and selfish." PLEASE! There is a difference between selfishness and self-respect, bitch!)
I realize why this bothers me so much. It is because I am the opposite of objective. I always want to be on these characters' sides. Why do I feel this way? Because. For me, Emily saying this was like her insulting one of my friends. It was like her saying, "What I don't like about Marten is..." or "The reason I don't like Bethany is..." And what's a person's natural response to this kind of attack? You want to beat that person up. To defend your friend, because he or she is your friend and YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT. Of course, I care about and love my real friends more than Jane and Lizzy, because Jane and Lizzy are fictional. I do realize this. But at the same time, throughout my life, there have been times when it has felt like these fictional heroines-- Jane Eyre, Elizabeth Bennet, Jo March-- were the only ones really there for me; when I was alone and I was upset I could imagine them there, I could imagine what they'd say; if I felt like no one in my real experience could understand what I felt like, there would be someone not real who I felt like could, had she been real.
And that is why there was almost a smackdown in Women in Fiction today.
But what makes it more frustrating is that I feel like I let Jane down today. I wasn't able to defend her like I should have. For one thing, I felt like there was no opening to talk, and second, I wasn't sure what to say and couldn't trust myself to give the subject the coherence it deserves. Still, if I don't defend these heroines, who will?
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
Why are you so bent and determined on making your Women in Fiction professor love you? What is it about her that makes you so desperately seek her approval, like you're young Jane Eyre and she's Miss Temple or something?
I mean, I have always had this need to have my teachers like me. There seems to be something logical about that reasoning-- kids my own age don't get me, but this very smart adult person, s/he might... s/he is more likely to. I have the Battleses, who like me probably more than I deserve. Is it because they're not teaching this semester that I decided to latch on to Dr. Eden? She specializes in the nineteenth century. I knew I loved her the moment I saw that she had a picture of Jane Austen on her door and the Brontes in her office. What I really want is to have a one-on-one all-out dorkfest discussion on Jane Eyre or any of Miss Austen's novels. I feel like that would go well. But in class I'm stuck trying to somehow psychicially convey to her that dammit, I am special. I'm not sure she's getting it. I was really not happy with my grade on my first assignment in her class, the discussion I led with my roommate, through no fault of my own, did not go well at all and was kind of embarrassing, and then on my last paper, which I felt I did really well on, I got an "A-/B+" (What does that MEAN? I hate that! Why do teachers do that?). Which is great, and I am grateful. But somehow I feel like at this point nothing will really make me feel like I'm really doing well short of Dr. Eden embracing me and declaring me to be like a third child to her. Okay, not quite that. But close. Boost my self-esteem Dr. Eden! I am your fangirl!
In speaking of Women in Fiction, something happened today that really pissed me off. There's this rather cynical girl, Emily, in my class, who is just way too objective in my opinion. Today she began a comment with, "What I don't like about Jane Eyre..." or "What's wrong with Jane Eyre is..." or maybe even, "The reason I don't like Jane Eyre," I can't remember, and something about how she has no follow-through and constantly undermines herself and sabotages her own happiness and sells herself short of living up to her ambitions, or something. Which is kind of crap anyway. I mean, do you have no concept of having to balance a liberal mentality with a conservative time period, GEEZ! Just because Jane's ambitions are not yours does not mean that she is not a fully self-possessed woman who achieves what she wants because she is determined and has a will to do so! And this girl did the same thing with Elizabeth Bennet ("The thing I don't like about Elizabeth, the reason I just don't like her is that she's vain and selfish." PLEASE! There is a difference between selfishness and self-respect, bitch!)
I realize why this bothers me so much. It is because I am the opposite of objective. I always want to be on these characters' sides. Why do I feel this way? Because. For me, Emily saying this was like her insulting one of my friends. It was like her saying, "What I don't like about Marten is..." or "The reason I don't like Bethany is..." And what's a person's natural response to this kind of attack? You want to beat that person up. To defend your friend, because he or she is your friend and YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT. Of course, I care about and love my real friends more than Jane and Lizzy, because Jane and Lizzy are fictional. I do realize this. But at the same time, throughout my life, there have been times when it has felt like these fictional heroines-- Jane Eyre, Elizabeth Bennet, Jo March-- were the only ones really there for me; when I was alone and I was upset I could imagine them there, I could imagine what they'd say; if I felt like no one in my real experience could understand what I felt like, there would be someone not real who I felt like could, had she been real.
And that is why there was almost a smackdown in Women in Fiction today.
But what makes it more frustrating is that I feel like I let Jane down today. I wasn't able to defend her like I should have. For one thing, I felt like there was no opening to talk, and second, I wasn't sure what to say and couldn't trust myself to give the subject the coherence it deserves. Still, if I don't defend these heroines, who will?
Because it’s ridiculous. Because it’s absurd. Because they’re wearing pants!
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