I meant to post this a while ago:

Timberlake Playhouse

8215 Black Oak Rd

Mt. Carroll, IL 61053

I support the Paul Newman Memorial Salad Bar.


Only thing to do is jump over the moon!

Aaaaand the long silence is broken! I'm still "working" (procrastinating) on a paper, my last paper that I got an extention on, but.

Last week I was "working" at Hanover. I got to hang out with all of my friends there and go to their graduation, which yeah, did kind of make me cry when we were singing the Alma Mater. AND I got to go up in the clock tower of Parker Auditorium, which I'd never done, and it was spectacular. I felt like Lyra at Oxford or something. The view was great. Unlike the last time I visited, this felt like a very closure-y trip. When I visited in February, it was like Hanover was still my home and I just hadn't been there in a long time. This time, maybe because most of the people I love there were gearing up to leave, it felt less like that, and more like just a nice place that I'll always hold dear to my heart, but which isn't really mine anymore. It was a good thing, I think.

I also got to show off, on that trip, my Naboo blaster that I got over spring break when I went to the Party City with Michael to get things that glow for his brother's rave that didn't happen. It was just sitting in the costume section as though I hadn't been keeping an eye out for one of those since 2005. It sounds like a duck. When I brought it home from the Party City, Michael and I had to break in to my house because I didn't have my keys, and I was sure a neighbor was going to think I was armed-robbing myself.

Now I'm working on this paper which is due June 1st. It's supposed to be, I think, 25 pages long. I'm going to start the actual writing tonight. This week has been pretty much me researching Emily Dickinson every hour I'm awake, and it's driving me a little stir-crazy.

And I CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO RENT, OMG.

I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm mentally rebelling against my work. But I found the full Broadway soundtrack on the YouTube (I only have "highlights" on CD), and have been listening to it over and over and over, and am probably about to listen to it again. It started with a quick listen to "La Vie Boheme" and "Over the Moon." "Over the Moon" is a song which, under normal circumstances, I find kind of annoying, but when I'm writing papers, it suddenly becomes hilarious and wonderful. Perhaps it expresses my innermost desires ("IIIIIIIIII GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!"). At least my innermost desire to scream ("IIIIIIIIII've GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA..."). I'm going to have to learn all the words. I've decided that Maureen is my favorite. If I could sing, that's a part I'd want to play. You may tease me about this at your leisure the next time you see me.

I support the Paul Newman Memorial Salad Bar.


Cool fact I forgot to mention last time: Jennifer Garner used to work here.

I support the Paul Newman Memorial Salad Bar.


I will not be a game piece.

I've been at Timberlake Playhouse for almost a week, now, and things have been going pretty well.  I was able to pull a rehearsal prop for pretty much anything that could possibly be needed, and I have a definite start on actual things.  I'm pretty sure I can be completely done in seven days, in which case I can either take a few days break or get a start on the next show.  The tech staff is pretty cool, and since the actors got here, we've holed ourselves up in ASM's cabin every night to avoid the loud, drunk, and annoying.  We successfully taught the ASM to play euchre, and she took to it better than anyone I've ever taught, which is exciting.  She gets great enjoyment from the milking part of the game.  Also, there is a cat, and he loves me as every cat does.  If any props don't get built, it will be his fault.  Everyone calls him something different, so I just call him cat.  I get no workable signal out here, and Claire doesn't get any internet yet, so that's lame.  I'm going to start writing letters.  Not just to her, though; I'll write Jonah, too, and might write home, I dunno.  

I'm basically my own boss; I'm the department head, but I'm also the entire department, so I'm basically a disembodied department head.  It's cool most of the time, but sometimes I miss just having assignments handed to me to blindly follow.  Research has been fun, and I'm going to build some cool things, like a portable record player.  Nathan, I'll probably need that pie formula.  Hm.  There were other things when I thought about posting earlier today, but just now I can't think of them.  

I support the Paul Newman Memorial Salad Bar.


In which Jonah is emo, but mostly over it

So I think I'm doing ok. If I'm to be perfectly honest, I think my relationship with Saralyn ended up being a smidge codependent at the end. For better or for worse, the process of getting over her has been a process of discovering a new life - one where the default setting is individualism. I love individualism conceptually, but practically, in my life, I love to be part of a team, couple, or community. I don't like time by myself. And lately, especially since Wooster let out, I've been by myself a lot. You have to be very delusional to think Twitter helps - so far Twitter seems a lot like yelling at the darkness to me.
Anyway, it's given me time to think about Saralyn and about me and my life and my priorities, and I'm thinking I'm ok. Maybe I'm not as old and grown-up and mature as I wanted to think I was and maybe that's alright. Maybe I should enjoy the one year I have left to be a college student, and if that involves another relationship, so be it. But I am not letting myself be tied down to her. A break up is a break up and however much it sucks it has to really be over or else it sucks for nothing. So after a brief and foolish foray with phone calls I decided to make a clean break. I told Saralyn I couldn't be with her, I couldn't be friends with her, and I couldn't even be in a place where we know we'll be friends eventually. And unfriended her on facebook, which, I know is controversial, but, well, I just couldn't handle it.
So, I am going to Ghost Ranch, New Mexico in two weeks for a summer job. I'm going to be working in a tiny coffee shop and hopefully communing with nature and Kierkegaard. (My I.S. is going to be on Kierkegaard and I'm hoping to get some research done during the summer.) So I'm hoping whatever lingering post-breakup angst or ennui can be worked off over the summer. I'm really excited about the chance to just go somewhere new and do something crazy. In the meantime, there's a wedding to get through, preparations, packing, and shopping.
By the way, Ghost Ranch is low on cell phone service or internet, so I probably won't get to blog much and I'll be hard to reach. I am going to post a snail mail address on facebook.

I support the Paul Newman Memorial Salad Bar.


Can the blog be reborn?

The blog is dead. Why is the blog dead? Because no one wants to post. Why does no one want to post? Well, that's the question.

Possible reasons no one wants to post:

They are too busy.

They have nothing to say.

They just keep forgetting to.

All of the above.

Something else.

Zombies.

Personally, I've been dissatisfied with this blog for a while. In fact, I've been considering starting a new blog of my own. It just feels like there's a lot to say that if I say it here I'd be embarrassed or self-conscious - I need my own space. The sort of thing we used to do here, well, I feel like I was never very good at it, or entirely certain what it is. And I've outgrown Crazy Stalker Guy/ Proving Ground.
If we want to try and revive this blog again, we can. But we have to decide whether or not its worth it. Because this''ll be what? The third renaissance?
If anyone is still reading or still cares, please reply.

I support the Paul Newman Memorial Salad Bar.