A properly executed pre-mortem one liner is vital to our health

So, orientation was awesome. My house rocks, everyone in it is really easy to live with. I started out incredibly excited to be here. Everything was going well, just sort of falling into place. I got all the classes I want, the cost of my books fell under $200, and things were generally awesome. After a while, though, I've sort of mellowed out. Part of this is due to girl, the rest is sort of due to slowly realizing that I live here. Jonah mentioned that it's sort of like summer camp, and it still feels like we're going home soon. I had my first classes today, I didn't start till noon, which basically rocks. I had chinese and philosophy; chinese is going to kick my ass, but both classes are great. Jonah keeps cursing, and it's really funny. "I am the very model of major fucking general." He's having way too much fun with this stuff. We keep making fun of Nathan his chinese harem, which doesn't actually exist. I've been talking to the family online, which is weird. My lightsaber is at the house, I want it to be here. I spent most of today in front of a computer adding music to it. I finally just came over here to Jonah's, and we kind of did a song. He played random chords on his guitar, and I mumbled and made noises. Just kinda got out how I'm feeling, which isn't exactly bad, just kind of sobered. Not that I drank, I was just sort of drunk off of just being here, and suddenly finding this Sonja girl. I guess I was kind of stupid about it, we knew each other for two days. Naturally, she got weirded out after a bit. I mean, I would, too, but was ignoring that because I don't like worrying about things. The best word for me, I think, was smitten. I really like smitten. We're friends now, but it's in that couple day long period where things are just a little awkward. But anyway, not much else worth saying about that, I'm going to go grab a weird movie.

Keanu Reeves: Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfucking
squid on this motherfucking bus. It's time to open some windows.

College conditions,cognomen confusion, considerable cussing cumulation

So I'm in college. It's pretty cool. The annex remarkably doesn't suck. My room is quite large and everything is conveniently located. And every night everyone here goes to everyone elses rooms until like three in the morning.
I registered for classes today. I wanted to take Intro to Anthropology, Theatre Tech, and Beginning Chinese, but Chinese was full, so I took an intrduction English course. Thanks to AP I already have six credits and three graduation requirements.
I walked out on the German placement test. I couldn't remember a word of German, so I figured it was a waste of time. Sorry I'm rambling, it's just so much has happened.
I've met so many people in the last few days I can't remember anyone's name. A few more people and I'll start forgetting names I did know. By the time I've met everyone in my classes, I won't remember my own name. Then I think I'll call all the boys Alex and all the girls Sarah. Statistically speaking, it's a good bet.
I've started cussing a lot more since I got here. I blame my roommate. He just said "fuckin' son of a bitch" four times with no explanation.

Kevin Spacey: Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfucking capybaras on this motherfucking giant anime-style robot. It's time to open some windows.

Acquisitions, Amy's Adieu's, and Adaptive Adventuring

So a lot has happened since my last post. I got a laptop. It broke down. I got another laptop, whch hopefully is not broken. I also got a coffee maker.
Also, I'm now single. Amy and I spent the day at the fair then said a very sad goodbye. Only it's not really goodbye because we're still going to be friends, just friends who aren't dating. And live in different states most of the year. Anyhow, I'm very sad about that, even if I saw it coming months ago. 21 months is a long time to be with someone. It's gonna come as a shock, however you prepare.
But I'm not doing too badly. I'm just sad.
I need to back up a bit and talk about Gen-Con, though. It was so much fun. Jonah, Paul and I participated in the Iron DM competition, which is sort of like Iron Chef with dungeons and dragons (the featured ingredient was Minotaurs.) It was really, really fun. Plus I got to meet Rich Burlew. And he autographed my book and drew me a picture.
My new title scheme, by the way, until it breaks down, shall be alliterative summaries of my posts.

Hugo Weaving: Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfucking llamas on this motherfucking lawn tractor. It's time to open some windows.

After the season of summer with its soft breezes...

Here is my second "What Have You Been Doing This Summer, Erin?" post.

I went to see Les Miserables at the Murat, apparently one of the last touring productions the play is doing, ever, and it was awesome as usual. This was my first time in the Murat since the incident at Phantom of the Opera, but fortunately I did not have to tackle any stairs. The Valjean was phenomenal-- and he knew it. You could tell by the way he really milked the end of "Bring Him Home." The Eponine and Javert were also great. The Mme. Thendardier was apparently from the original cast, which means she's also the one I have on my CD, which is neat. The show, despite how well I know it and the fact that I've seen it before, brought me near to tears again. It definitely wasn't as special as my first time, but still amazing. I have to say, my favorite character in Les Miz is always Gavroche. Even though he's almost never played well because he's played by little kids, his energy and and just the overwhelming awesomeness of his character always shine through anyway. "Do we care? Not a cuss! Long live us! LONG LIVE US!"

At the end of July I went to a ridiculously boring jewelry-selling party at my aunt Carol's house. People kept talking about fashion and matching and outfits and I felt very fish out of water. The one really worthwhile moment of the evening was when Grandma and Aunt Barbara learned that the guy who just moved in behind us is 25, single, and rich. It was decided that even if he is a drug dealer (a possibility which was discussed), I should be dragged over there and marry him immediately, or at least let him know I'm available. It was too good to pass up. I said, "Because a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." To which Aunt Barbara promptly responded, "Well, yeah!"
Grandma, completely unwittingly I'm sure, then made it even better by calling the man "a good prospect." Stumbling over my own glee, I was able to formulate a semi-coherent reply using the phrases "snap him up" and "secure him." My mom came over, was apprised of the situation, and jumped in with admirable quickness and astuteness, grasping the nature of my amusement at once. She said, "Perhaps we should give a ball and introduce you." I was full-on British accent by this time: "A ball?! I long for a ball!"
It. Was. Great.

You all probably know that I am FINALLY free of the JC Penney, a cause of some considerable relief. A couple of weeks before I left, our department's assistant-manager-in-traning or something, a young woman, explained to myself and my coworker that she *actually believes* that "a woman's place is in the home." I wanted to vomit on her shoes directly. That idea, especially phrased that way, is just so insulting, and taht a woman would voluntarily limit herself like that is just disgusting to me. I still can't get over it. If you want to stay at home with your kids, fine. But for God's sake have a life of your own outside of that. I kind of want to hold her down and force her to read The Awakening, as depressing as that book is. Ugh, she actually used "career woman" as a derogatory phrase and mocked women who want to have lives and careers! Ugh!
And then I started wondering, how many woman could possibly think like this? That "*a woman's place* is in the home?" How many women *believe* that we are not the intellectual equals of men and are just as capable, intelligent, ambitious, and hardworking? How many women in the year 2006 really subscribe to beliefs that Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte identified as bullshit almost two hundred years ago? I was a little surprised by how personally affronted I was by this. I wanted to go around singing, "Well, women feel as men do/ We must engage our minds and souls/ Let us, like our brothers/ Let our worth define our roles" the rest of the day.

Anyway, since I got done with work I've mostly just been doing work. On the Sir Gawain and the Green Knight project. I've read almost 70 articles this summer, and have probably about 70 more to go. It's long and somewhat tedious, but it also feels like I'm doing something productive, which I never felt at stupid JC Penney.

On Monday we went to the State Fair, which is always a good time. That is, until we were about to leave and discovered that the morons in charge of parking people had blocked us in between a car and a tree. And we couldn't get out. And it was hot outside. We got some police officers who happened to be passing to call in the license plates of the person behind us and another person to the side to see if they could find one of them to come out and move his car, and they also called for a tow truck to come and move the car behind us. We sat and waited for about half an hour before finally, and completely by coincidence, the guy who owned the car behind us came out to put something in his trunk. He moved his car, and we were free.

And that, everyone, is another installment of My Adventurous Summer.

Marten, are you going to catch the dolphin? No, you're just going to eat my torso.

Julie Andrews in Rhinoceri on a Unicycle

My new title scheme is based on a game Nathan, Levi, and I made up after seeing Snakes on a Plane (A movie well worth all the hype). You play with 3 people. 1 thinks up an actor name, one an animal, and one a mode of transportation, and then you say them in rapid succession. Much hilarity ensues. For added fun, you can picture your actor (or actress) saying "Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfucking _____ on this motherfucking ______. It's time to open some windows."
So we went to see the movie in costume. Nathan was snakes, Levi was a plane, and I was Samuel L. Jackson. We were not the only group in costume- the other group had four snakes and one plane.
The movie itself was better than anyone would expect, though not what one would call good. However I don't think anyone came in with high expectations. What the movie promised was Snakes on a Plane, and that's exactly what it delivered. We all agreed we could have done without some of the more brutal or disgusting scenes, but overall it was quite enjoyable. Samuel L. Jackson kicked a good deal of ass, too.
I think years from now when we try to tell our children about this movie, they won't believe us. We'll have to go to IMDB to prove it's real. The other, scarier possibility is that this will become the new standard for movies, so they'll have no trouble believing it.
Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfucking rhinoceri on this motherfucking unicycle. It's time to open some windows.

The Narrated Man rises to his feet, alert and ready to deal Justice.

I got a few days off of the show, so naturally I get less sleep on my break. On Tuesday, because I am a loser, I went to school. Took Lara, confused some administrators, bugged teachers who couldn't sweep me, that sort of thing. That night, Nathan, Jonah and I reworked "Generally Speaking" to include a third person. We don't have an ending yet, but I think it will work out very well. I'd include a link to the original, but I'm not as industrious as Michael is, so you can just look through the archives if you really care to see the old one. One of us will post the new one once it's finished.
I got new clothes. I can now be extra sexy in nice clothes that fit. A big black guy was very excited to sell me a jacket and 3 pairs of pants.
Yesterday was amusing. I IMed Toni Gibbons for no real reason, and we got to the point where she said "Want to make icecream?" and I said sure. Then we got Erin, and went to miejer to quest for things to make icecream in her icecream maker. We didn't really find any. We went back to Toni's and discovered things we needed, then went back to miejer and found poor substitutes. Ignoring the fact that our ingredients were wrong, we mixed everything up anyway. In the end, it at least tasted like melted icecream, and there were many a silly story to be had between the three of us. It ended sort of like the Grail Quest. Then we watched lost skeleton, and there was much rejoicing.
We ought to change the template.
I ought to pack for college.
I wonder if "ought" is a real word.

Marten, are you going to catch the dolphin? No, you're just going to eat my torso.

Arithmetic, you see, is useful; without its aid, I should hardly have been able to guess your age.

You guys! You guys! I'm on the Bronteana blog!

You probably know how I've done timelines for Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights this summer. If you don't, I've made timelines for Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights this summer. When I finally finished them (it was much work), I posted them on my lj. Then I emailed the person in charge of Bronteana-- an influential blog in the world of Bronte studies, kept up by a grad student-- and sent her the links. For two days, I waited. Nervously.

Then, today, a reply came. It said, "These are really fabulous- and very near to how I had estimated the timelines as well. There are problems with dating JE- the descriptions Charlotte gives of life in the novel make scholars think that the novel must take place much earlier (by decades, I think...), but I agree more with your dates. I know that I came across an article with a timeline for WH very like yours but not one for JE. Maybe you should think about getting it published? If you're an undergrad it isn't easy to do, but I think the journal Bronte Studies accepts submissions from people who aren't in grad school."

How awesome is that? And on the blog itself, there are links. Check it out-- it's in the second paragraph of the most recent entry right here.


Marten, are you going to catch the dolphin? No, you're just going to eat my torso.

Party!

Friday, August 4th, 7:00. If you have questions, ask Jonah.

Marten, are you going to catch the dolphin? No, you're just going to eat my torso.